Goodbye, 2011

So, another year in the bag. Usually I’d rush to write up yet another introspective but this time I didn’t quite feel the need to. For one thing, there’s a lot of the past year that I’d rather keep private. Secondly I almost feel like all of it didn’t really count after the events of the past 4 months or so. But here we are again, so I suppose I should start with the basics. And the fact is, 2011 has been a pretty interesting year for me.

I’d say the year had kicked off with a decent start. I spent New Years in Circular Quay to watch the fireworks, having evicted some Germans who were there before me by cleverly ‘aiding’ the police in spotting people who were drinking in public. Once they were gone, I claimed the spot for myself and settled in for the 5 hour wait till the fireworks and festivities kicked in. I remember being smug, satisfied and pretty pleased with myself at the time.

Over the next few months my career and life progressed as well as I could hope. In the office, I managed (with the backing of my superiors) to get the ball rolling on a few projects that I had helped come up with. My reasons were pretty simple. I needed something to put me on the radar and score a bit more recognition, as well as something that would save me a lot of time in the office. Though it took longer to get started than I would have preferred, I’m pleased to report that everything is going according to schedule. With a bit of luck and my trademark brand of passive-aggressive cajoling (I kid. I’m not passive about being aggressive at all), here’s hoping that 2012 will see that my earlier efforts come to fruition.

On the personal relationship front, things weren’t so rosy to start. I had tried and failed to cultivate several relationships with a few interesting (at the time) individuals and for a while I grappled with the whole ‘what’s wrong with me’ line of thinking. That lasted all of 2 weeks before I concluded that things weren’t really worth fussing over. And that all I needed was a good scotch :P. Don’t judge me. The moral of the story was that I bounced back pretty quickly after each minor disaster and just carried on. At the time I felt like there wasn’t much else to do except keep pushing forward. And you know what? I’m glad I did.

Because that’s when I re-crossed paths with her. And now we arrive at my recent past. Suffice it to say that things have picked up significantly and here is where we run into a large chunk of what I would like to keep private. I’ll spare the details but I can safely say that I’ve finally met my intellectual match. I’ve finally met someone I deeply admire and respect. Someone I don’t have to have all the answers for and that would be okay. And the bizarre part of it is that she feels the same way. As I sit here and think back, I begin to see how the threads of an old life have begun to unravel, and for some reason I feel relieved. I can start to see how new things are being weaved in place. While I’m no longer so naïve to think that I can see the new picture before it has even properly begun, I can tell this is different. It feels different.

For a time early on, it also felt a bit scary. But after a while I began to notice the little things. The by-products of 2 people settling in for the long haul. I noticed that ‘yours’ and ‘mines’ became ‘ours’. My long term planning just got longer. I take care of myself better. I even take naps now! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!?

Truthfully, absolutely nothing. For once. Granted there's still quite a few things I can do better but I think I have all the basics down pat. My significant other has been incredibly patient with me, and for that I'm grateful. I know what she has to put up with, and I sympathize. After all, at the end of the day I have to put up with myself too. You deserve a medal my dear.

But enough about that. On to other matters. Ken's wedding was a pleasant occasion I enjoyed recently, and I've also started my Masters programme. I'm sitting comfortably on a Distinction so far, which is acceptable. I can foresee my grades dipping thanks to a pretty difficult assigment but I don't think its something I can't salvage. We'll see. I have an exam this weekend and speaking of which, I really should get organized.

Until next time.

I Do

Hello again.

For those of you in the know, I've only just returned from a small amount of time back home in Malaysia. I got back yesterday in fact. Ordinarily, I'd rattle on about my trip. I'd write about the amazing days I spent with my significant other, or about my house in Malaysia being broken into. In fact, there's quite a few things I could talk about.

Instead I'm going to do something of a rarity on this blog, and get off my soapbox for a bit. I'm not going to write about myself. Today, I'm giving this space wholly the latter portion of my trip and an important milestone in a dear brother's life.

I returned home from Malaysia via Perth. The purpose of my visit was twofold, one was to visit Ken and Hari, and the second was to act as a witness as Ken got married. And what a nice little wedding it was.

On the morning of the big day, Ken and his soon-to-be-ex-fiance Li Chun busied themselves making sure that the house was tidy, the food was prepared and the decorations were in place. Not too long past noon, a few guests arrived and brought our party to about 10 people. Aside from the inhabitants of the house (Ken, LC and Hari), there was myself, LC's friend and fellow wedding witness Amy, Ken's Dad, Aunt, and Uncle, and 2 of LC's other friends.

By 1 pm, the stage was set and we all trooped over to the backyard patio and patiently awaited the arrival of the Marriage Celebrant. It was during this time that Ken also handed me 2 boxes containing the rings to be exchanged. We milled about chatting for a bit, and then it was time.

The Celebrant arrived, and after some housekeeping everyone stood in a semi circle around the happy couple. At this point the Celebrant took care of legal formalities and the wedding began in earnest. First came a brief description of their longstanding relationship, from the time it began in uni up to the point where they decided to spend the rest of their lives together. Then came the vows and the rings. Both spoke clearly, and it was obvious that this was something they've been wanting to do.

Next came a quaint little ceremony I hadn't seen before. Both Ken and LC began pouring some colored sand into a glass vial, signifying that their two separate lives are now one. It was a nice little touch, and despite the wind, none of the sand was spilled as far as I could tell (and Ken quickly placed the stopper on to make sure that none would escape).

With the rings exchanged, the vows spoken, and the sand blended it was time for the marriage certificate to be signed. Ken and LC both did so without hesitation, and not long after me and Amy added our signatures as well. I did so with pride, happy to be able to be a small part in the beginning of something great.

Ken and LC, thank you for allowing me not only to be a witness and bearing your rings for a moment. It's a great honor, and I count myself very fortunate to be among the few who were present.

May your marriage be blessed, your hardships few, and may each in your new life be better than the last.

Your friend and brother,
Fahim

The sky is falling.

Well aren't we in a bit of a pickle. Back in the day I've written at some (minor) length about the state of my apartment block, its many terrible backpacker denizens and the problems I have with water leaking and the like in my own place. This story however, takes the already crusty icing on the heaping dung cake of my existence here and dumps a new fresh layer of poopy nougat on top. Seriously, its starting to become some kind of disgusting layer cake.

What's happened now you ask? Well a section of my roof, not content with merely leaking water on my expensive electronics has decided to simultaneously outdo itself and give up the ghost. It has collapsed. I'm serious. As I'm sitting here by the computer, a decorative piece of roof is right next to me, having been wedged behind my AV cabinet and the wall. I am at a loss to describe the sheer annoyance of this. When I look at my nice, large screened monitor I want to ONLY see said monitor. Not a piece of masonry that would have caved an elaborate floral pattern on my skull. There are a lot of ways I want to leave this life (most of them involving jets, bears or sharks) and this is not it.


See? Its like its trying to spear my head or something. Or break through the other wall and escape to the street. Well the joke's on you buddy. The only place you're going is back up. And I will hot glue,epoxy, nail and otherwise molecularly bond you back where you belong. You hear me? GET BACK UP THERE!

We now return to our (never) regularly scheduled programming.

Dear Blog,

How I've missed you. I see that in my absence a number of strange rodent-like commenters have taken to nesting in your nooks and crannies. They promise readers free iPads, viagra, guaranteed weightloss and a myriad of other mind numbing devilry. I apologise. I shouldn't have left you alone for so long. I promise that I will hunt them down and make them suffer. Or at least clean up and make sure no traces of their evil is left behind.

So why am I back you ask? Well truth be told, I was never far away. I've often gazed lovingly at you through a rose-tinted high powered telescope from near earth orbit. From time to time I've even walked through your rich, mahogany scented hallways marveling in your elegant simplicity. I return for a number of reasons but chief among them is something very ordinary. I've missed writing, and I've missed you. Do forgive me for being away. For being ever faithful in the face of abandonment, I intend to spruce you up with new skills I have learned in the wild (and in space).

Your interface will be updated, your archives carefully set aside, and my posts will even be categorised and tagged. All this, and more await you my technological wonder of a diary. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be the talk of the town. The jewel on the crown of Poseidon. The feather on the fish.

I can't promise you that there won't be times when I might appear to be distant. The days and weeks may stretch on but know that you are very dear to me old friend. You have provided me with the means to empty the contents of my head. And for that, I will always be grateful.

I'm back.
The Nefarious Nightclub is open for business.

And boy do I have stories to tell you.

Semper fi,
Me.

Endings and Beginnings.

So here we go again. Another year gone by, another year I frantically try to commit to memory at the very last instant. Why do I even bother trying? I guess because this time I actually have something important to remember. Now, I'm not going to belittle my absence from blogging as something that wasn't worth writing about. On the contrary, 2009 has been a year as worthy as any when it comes to jotting stuff down but I guess right now it would be a bit too late to sum things up.

Instead, I turn my focus to my recent past.

I have been....clutching at straws I suppose. 2010 has been an enormously humbling year and I would be hard pressed to come up with an event where I haven't come out feeling that little bit smaller. Fortunately, my ego is boundless but if there ever was a time when I felt diminished, it would be now.

How does one cope when, in the act of searching for lasting happiness, you find it and realize that it can outgrow you? It seems that every effort and decision I've made hasn't been the right one. It hasn't been wrong either I suppose, but certainly not right. Now I'm not taking potshots at anyone, my failings are irrevocably my own but I do wonder. When does trying to fix things end forcing the issue begins? It seems that I've got a long way to go.

My working life and career have been progressing as well as I could hope. As my responsibilities steadily increase the mysteries of the business universe slowly unravels. Let me tell you, it is a strange and daunting place, filled with arbitrary decision making, the slow death of common sense and filled with people that would make any intelligent person wonder why or how they were ever let loose. Speaking as a self-professed elitist I have to state for the interest of full disclosure that I'm not exactly the most unbiased observer. I'm sure a lot of them are lovely folk. Just. Don't. Come any closer.

Outside of the office things have not been as smooth as I had hoped. Naomi remains, as ever, a steady and illuminating presence in my life but she has her own things to do, and I really should stop being a roadblock. Sooner or later I'll have to bow out entirely and let life take us to different places.

Speaking of which, I continue to struggle against the Department of Immigration for a migration visa. It remains an unending maze of uncertainty, but I suppose that keeps things interesting. The real question is, what will I do when I get it (which I will)?. What is seemingly an inconsequential grant by the government opens up a veritable cornucopia or opportunities which, until now, I have been unable to take advantage off. Perhaps I should start (gasp) to consider the future, and not figure my way around by feel. Hmm...

Tomorrow I head to sunny Perth, and will more than likely have my eyeballs blasted by the sun, even while looking down at the ground. Should be interesting! I really could use the holiday, having not been anywhere of consequence since April.

I suppose I can console myself with the fact that it involved jumping off a bridge.

Mind: Hacked

Well THAT was an interesting book.

I refer to a recent purchase (re: Mind Hacks) which has proven to be a more than illuminating text. I say text because while the book itself is very entertaining, it is by and large an educational one. As the title implies, the book is a collection of 'hacks' designed to shed some light on how the brain works by (more often than not) fooling our perceptions, actions and memories. Every hack is a self contained little snippet of information describing the nature of the hack and how it works based on present neurological understanding. This information is neatly bookended by opening statements and references that will allow the inquisitive reader to travel further along the rabbit hole, as it were, and perform their own research. At the end of it all, the human brain is still a thing of wonder and mystery but at least with books like these ordinary people can catch a glimpse of its inner workings. For example, I didn't know that simply visualing something like exercise can improve a person's coordination and even strength!

Now I do.

I've also picked up a game called Kingsburg yesterday which has proven to be another good purchase. I'm not going to go into the details but the game contains a few interesting mechanisms that allows players lagging behind to catch up while simultaneously rewarding leading players. In my experience, this is a hard balance to achieve for most board games and indeed some of them fall flat exactly because players are made to feel punished for bad rolls, luck, chi, karma, feng shui or what have you. From playing 2 games, I feel that the game itself is inherently balanced enough such that the only reason a person would lose (as I did) was to play with no real strategy. Of course this will require a few playthroughs to see if such trends will average out over time but from where i'm standing things look pretty well managed. The fact that it can be played with a minimum of 2 players is also a big plus. 2 additional 'ghost' players are simulated in order to give the illusion that you're up against bigger odds.

As an aside, i've also added a few picture of me getting my hair amputated (as if you didn't notice!) for charity on Friday the 13th. How auspicious! My hair has grown since then. It is now 0.5 centimeters long.

I am so proud!

A Clash Of Kings

Its been a good month so far.

I've spent my days working and my nights with Naomi whenever it was possible. Come Wednesday I will be finished with a minor project in the office and the process of editing my work will begin. For the past fortnight i've been adapting a knowledgebase for a new machine, cobbling together bits and pieces of information from previous releases along with solutions i've authored to launch the support base when the model hits the market. While i'm sure there will be a lot of changes to be made before the knowledgebase is fit for release, i'm certain that the groundwork is there, and that i'm adaptable enough to modify whatever needs to be changed. Its good work, and i'm proud of my progress.

Having seen the Watchmen twice now, I can safely say that it is a recommended viewing for any who care for the genre, and some who don't. While the movie adaptation loses the complexity and the multi-layered tale that is the graphic novel, director Zach Snyder did for it what Peter Jackson did for the Lord of the Rings trilogy. The result is an enjoyable, albeit truncated take on a society living in the shadow of nuclear war. What heroes that exist are broken, scared, apathetic and paranoid yet still they labor to fight for an imperfect system. After all, if they don't then who will?

I attended a WoW minis tournament today, hoping to win a Spectral Tiger or a Battle Bear mount in order to sell over eBay but unfortunately my team was ripped to shreds in 3 out of the 4 matches of the day. Still, the games were good and each defeat was down to a very fine margin. In hindsight perhaps I should have made a different figure choice, but I stuck with the decision I made in the beginning and went with it all the way. There wasn't much I could do but make my foes pay dearly for their victories.

Over this weekend i've also managed to finish Resident Evil 5, a game that set my pulse racing more out of pounding action than fear. Gone are the scares of the previous games, replaced instead with gunning down mobs of infected men and monsters with the business end of sniper rifles, automatic shotguns, and even an orbital laser. They deserved it, and I most certainly enjoyed the ride. A part of me still yearns for a good scare though, and while the game is a blast (pun intended) to play, it was missing the survival horror feeling that Capcom had so deftly served a decade ago.

For all the progress i've made gaming i've unfornately been unable to finish reading through A Clash Of Kings this weekend. Theres about a hundred pages left but if i'm to sleep at a decent hour for work, it looks like I might have to leave it be for now and come back to it tomorrow. Few fantasy novels I have read moved me to care about the characters within, and I still rage at the treachery of the so called nobility. When a crown is involved I suppose all notions of honor and fair play go out the window.

In a game of thrones, you win or you die. Truer words have not yet been written in the series so far.

I close with some troubling thoughts i've been having. About half an hour ago I was roused from my reading by the distressed cries of a woman nearby. Judging by the sound, it was probably from the lobby of the apartment building. By the time I went to investigate everything was back to normal, but it left a bad taste in my mouth. If I went down earlier I could probably have helped against whatever was happening, but I didn't.

Maybe i'm a coward, or maybe its worse.

Maybe I don't care.