End of an era

So this is it.

In the next 16 hours I will officially be a (double) degree holder.

I don't really know how to feel about it.

On the one hand its certainly a major milestone and something worth celebrating. In fact, both my parents are here in Sydney to watch their son walk proudly up to the stage, give whoever is up there a firm handshake and smile through his teeth as they take pictures of him recieving his paper qualifications.

On the other hand, it really doesn't change anything considering that:

A) The ceremony is several months overdue and;
B) It doesn't improve my odds of landing a proper job seeing as to how I already have my certificate of course completion.

And then there's the reality that i'm no longer a student. Essentially the life i've known up to this point is coming to an end and now I have to grow up and join the big leagues. I guess its got to happen some time.

As usual i'm overanalyzing the situation. My family and Naomi are right. Sometimes you just have to shut up and let yourself get caught up in the moment and celebrate.

I remember how I felt every time I heard that one of my friends have graduated before I did. I know its not a race but when people 2 to 3 years younger than me are already earning a living, I have to admit that I felt a certain amount of envy.

This playing field is still not exactly level.

But at least now I can catch up.

Amazing creatures

Last night was a good night.

Due to a freak problem my sister was having I ended up with 2 tickets to watch Cirque Du Soleil's Dralion show and took Naomi along. Having witnessed a Cirque performance before, I came into the chapiteau wondering how they could top the last one but as it turns out my apprehensions were totally baseless.

In short, I lost count of the amounts of 'oohs' and 'aahs' I exclaimed over the the show. Human beings are capable of such feats of strength and dexterity it would seem like we can be..well...inhuman. Everyone has heard of a contortionist, for example, but what I saw last night made me doubt that the performer had a full skeleton underneath that outfit.

I still doubt it.

I guess the circus life is not for me. I can't even begin to imagine the dedication and the time spent in training to be able to perform even one set.

My recent attempts at finding gainful employment have not met with much success so in near desperation I decided to bite the bullet and call for help. Come Monday i'll have a meeting with employees of my parents friend so we'll see how that goes.

I have also been spending a lot of time in Will Wright's probably genre breaking Spore. The game is an interesting dichotomy. In encouraging us to gaze in wonder at a galaxy full of life, we're required to sit by our computers...

This could be the dawn of a new era of gaming though. Spore is essentially a game where players create almost everything that goes in it. While a number of examples are helpfully provided, once you get into the thick of it almost everything you see can (and will) be manipulated. Spore has subtle faux-MMO features that make it infinitely interesting, considering that there is no direct interaction between players.

Instead, the many creatures, buildings and vehicles created by the player base are propagated in the background and you never know what you'll encounter over on the next rise, continent or planet.

I can only hope that my little creatures are able to carve a niche for themselves in a galaxy gone mad.

Idlemind

Well that was a long break. A long break in which almost absolutely nothing was achieved. I exagerate of course, as the past few weeks have been filled with both major and minor events too numerous for me to do them justice now. The problem is, at the heart of it all my situation hasn't really improved much at all.

I am still unemployed.

And I am still on my student visa.

At least the latter is well on its way to being rectified. I only wish that employers would be willing to take make before I get my visa. I can't blame them, as hiring someone who isn't sure he will be staying in the country is more than a small gamble. But still. Its me!

I'm pretty sure that once I get my bridging visa at least, things will be made marginally easier as i'll at least have that as a proof that my application has gone through and is now lost deep in the bowels of that grotesque, smelly and toad-like creature that we call the Immigration Department. And i'll be getting my PR whenever said grotesque, smelly and toad-like creature decides its done digesting my money, time and paperwork. Presumably it will eject my PR through some manner of sphincter or orifice and I will smile and say "Thank you". I expect to recieve that gloriously steaming dungpile sometime in November at the earliest. Happy times!

In the meantime, i've been spending my days sending out resumes, going for interviews, getting rejection e-mails and slowly being driven insane. Just like old times!

Still, things aren't so bad on other fronts. Me and Naomi have gotten closer than ever over the past few weeks and although I tend to bombard her with text messages she bears it bravely (and chooses to ignore it more often than not haha). She has also changed in a lot of surprising ways since I met her and though I can only guess at the long term effects, I am quite amazed.

No, i'm more than amazed.

I'm excited.

Asphyxiation and other methods of finding clarity

So i've come to it at least. The proverbial light at the end of the tunnel. The end of the rainbow. The closing credits of a particularly bad and uncomfortable movie.

No.
More.
University.

The reason I am in Sydney has officially come and gone leaving me devoid of purpose. Wait, no. That's not right. Devoid of structure. That's more like it. So what now? I have a bewildering assortment of choices available to me.

Should I go home and leave it all behind? Should I tough it out and find a job, make a living and settle down? Should I just disappear leaving a note saying i'll be back when i'm ready and wander the world as a wise hermit (re: hobo) asking for loose change in return for not breathing on people? The possibilities are endless!

At the end of the day, there's no shortage of things to do. I don't think there ever has been. The trick is to find the best alternative. A choice I can live with. Now there's a tricky situation.

As some of you already know, i've been feeling a bit...ambivalent over the past few weeks about the prospect of graduating. Having submitted my final assignment last Friday I can safely say that I still feel the same way. After a brief celebratory coffee in which all of the group members just mumbled about TVs, games and ferrets we each went our separate ways promising that we'll keep in touch which is the equivalent of saying goodbye, leaving the country and never looking back.

I spent the weekend sending out job applications and nursing my rather sick (but still rather naughty) 1-UP back to health. Apparently Naomi has given her the cold. For some reason I remain blissfully immune even whilst having both cold-ridden females around the house. Obviously, i'm not complaining. Being healthy does have its perks.

Last night I went down to the local kebab place and enjoyed a nice apple shisha (which when consumed by only one person is the equivalent of smothering yourself with a vaguely licorice tasting fluffy pillow to the point where you get head spins) along with Good Omens, one of my most favorite often read books. I settled down in my chair and thought about how nice it would be if I could do that day in and day out. A little more thought revealed that if I did, I would be Egyptian. And I don't really fancy them, after my trip over there.

Oh well, I guess i'll just have to find something else.

Wish me luck!

Quality control

I've just been reading my story bits and plot holes aside, I think i'm doing an okay job so far. I've always been laboring under the illusion that I could write and its nice to finally see something concrete come out of it. I have ideas as to where I could take the plot and there's a lot of room for me mess around with.

Problem is, my skill at writing is akin to an apprentice artist trying to carve a masterpiece alabaster statue (the kind that generally involve a naked woman of some sort) using a sledgehammer and a broken broom handle. In other words, not very skilled at all. Take this paragraph for example:

"I reach my hand to wipe my forehead and this time it obeys without question. Only my forehead isn't what it touched. Instead, a mass of bandages seemed to be wrapped around my forehead. No, not just my forehead. I grope around to discover that my entire head is wrapped in linen and gauze. Makes sense I guess."

I'm pretty sure i've broken some literary law somewhere and the authorities are seconds away from crashing through my window and clubbing me to death with a Thesaurus.......

Nope, guess not. But still.

You do get my point. There's some serious editing required here. This whole forehead debacle makes it sound like my character is obsessed with receding hairlines. Oddly enough, thats not the direction I want to take the story in.

Suggestions are always welcome.

Finish line

Its finally come down to it. My final fortnight of being a uni student. I guess I should start screaming in panic.

The prospect of graduation never felt truly real to me up until this point. Don't get me wrong, i've always known that I would graduate. Its just that it only felt like the logical albeit distant conclusion of this chapter in my life. Like the concept of tomorrow, or planning a trip, or simply whats over the horizon.

Now that its here I don't quite know how to feel about it. Its graduation season at UTS at the moment, and for the past two weeks i've seen proud parents and friends of people snapping pictures of their loved ones all dressed up in that silly robe and hat. It made me feel...jealous I guess. But mostly just happy that's not me. And I wonder why. I want to graduate. I want to get on with my life. I want to get that job, make that money, go to those places. I want to feel miserable with my workload, and I want to be happy at knowing that i've done my job well.

So why the ambivalence? I've asked myself this question a lot these past few days. I think at the end of the day, there are changes that have take place in myself before i'll be truly ready for the next step in my life. I'm at the threshold.

The only thing thats holding me back is the fact that i'm not ready to say goodbye to the parts of me I have to lose just yet. Or maybe i'm just taking too cynical a view.

I don't have to change.

Prologue Part 3 - Mea maxima culpa

These past few weeks have been a blur. The first thing I remember since my “rescue” is waking up to find myself on an operating table. Anonymous doctors surrounded me and kept busy making this cut and that, speaking in muffled tones to harassed looking nurses. It took a full minute before anyone realized I was awake. One of the doctors simply shrugged, reached a bloodstained, gloved hand to a nearby IV drip and made a small adjustment.

Darkness again.

The next time I barely regain enough consciousness to remember must have been some time after the operation. The room is dark, and I can hear the soft whirrs and clicks off machinery nearby. My eyes refuse to open and my breath is hot and warm almost as if i'm smothered. I must still be in the medical facility. My entire head aches and my forehead throbs, the final hours of my captivity still lingering as a memory entombed within flesh.

I reach my hand to wipe my forehead and this time it obeys without question. Only my forehead isn't what it touched. Instead, a mass of bandages seemed to be wrapped around my forehead. No, not just my forehead. I grope around to discover that my entire head is wrapped in linen and gauze. Makes sense I guess.

But its not a good sign.

A small cough draws my attention to my left. I'm not alone in here. My voice cracks as I ask who it is.He or she doesn't answer. Truth be told I don't even really want to know who's there. A slow, dull ache begins to spread from my forehead down to my neck. The unpleasant sensation is quickly followed by a sharp stabbing pain across my face and I grit my teeth to suppress a grunt. My visitor must have noticed because within seconds I was out again.

This is starting to get old.

Its morning.

I'm finally well and truly awake. The room i'm in is small, but clean. A window with the blinds drawn shut filters in vertical slits of light across my rectangular confines. I turn my head, aware of some slight discomfort as I do so to take in the rest of my surroundings. Nothing in here but a small shower, toilet, a mirror and what looks like a cupboard. Not exactly home.

I sit up straight, stretch, and head for the shower. No point trying to leave without at least using the facilities. The water is hot and it burns like liquid fire but by the time I step out 10 minutes later, I feel like a new man. I dry myself with a towel hanging off a nearby hook and stand in front of the mirror to take a good look at myself.

Too bad the person staring back isn't me.

I look straight into the eyes of the stranger and see the same image reflecting back to infinity.

They've given me a new face.

I take my time to admire their handiwork. My hairline is different, my jaw set rather square. The angle my ears are tucked has been changed. My lips look wider. A quick check confirms that my gunshot scar is still there, albeit reduced. My nose is still broken though.

I begin to laugh.

They've changed just about every facial feature I could think of but my nose is still bent.
As I throw my mouth wide open I look at my now perfect set of teeth. Crowns, I assume.
I laugh even harder and grip the sink for support. I fight to breathe in between hysterics until my face turns red and i'm in tears.

Then I laugh some more.

Twenty minutes later and i'm strolling down the parking lot with a set of keys in my hand. The cupboard contained not only a tailored suit but a gun, a wallet stuffed with cash and cards and an ID with my new name on it. The keys were in the jacket pocket.

I stop for a moment to take a look around. To my left and right stretch rows of identical cars. All of them brand new, but not the latest model. In other words, good enough to blend in. I press the unlock button on the remote and the third car from my right winks its lights at me.
I guess that one's mine.

I step up to it, open the door and get into the driver's seat. Laid across the passenger seat is a brown manila envelope with the words “Welcome back” printed on it. I ignore it for now. There's going to be plenty of time to run errands for the Devil later. I check my gun, stick the key into the ignition and place my hands on the steering wheel. Easing the car out of the parking spot I pause for a moment and close my eyes.

I take a deep breath.

I open my eyes.

I put pressure on the gas pedal.

And I drive away.

Prologue Part 2 - Out of the frying pan

I awake to something wet dripping down my forehead.
Struggling against renewed pain, I crack one eyelid open, and then the other. A small victory.
The rest of my body isn't as cooperative.

A small droplet of water falls dead center onto my forehead from somewhere above. At least I hope its water. I try to move my numb arms and hands to wipe my slick forehead but they refuse to obey. My neck, arms, legs; my entire body useless. I wonder if that last blow did more than just knock me out.

I wonder if my nose isn't the only thing that the bastards broke.

Another drop of water and reality hits me like a ton of bricks. There's nothing wrong with my spine. I'm simply tied down. I have about 10 seconds of relief as the feeling returns to my extremities before the offending droplet of water returns. Again the light tap on my forehead brings a kind of fevered clarity to my thoughts.

Its not going to stop.

Drip.
Not for hours.
Drip.
Not for days.
Drip.
They'll break me.
Drip.
And they'll do it soon.

I lose track of time. Each drop is like a stinging slap, preparing me only for the next inevitable drop. And drop it does. I lose track of time. Sleeping is impossible. I'm vaguely aware of going hungry as the endless barrage of water pounds me senseless. The beating I can handle.

But not this.

I cry and beg and babble, laugh, shout, mutter every obscenity in every language I know and still it goes on. They want it from me. A little information is a fair price for sanity. Just give it to them, I tell myself. Just tell them what you know and then they'll kill you.

No more pain.
No more suffering.
No more God damned water.

A fair trade.

Somewhere in front of me a door opens almost before I even raise my voice. People in black suits and masks take position around me and wait. A moment later the man I used to work for comes striding into the room, stopping short just out of my useless arm's reach. He leans forward and takes in my broken form with disgust clearly etched on his lined face.
I smile to show him my gap-toothed grin.

Just when I thought i'd be free from the Devil, the Devil waltzes straight back into my life.

I should have known.

He says something I can't quite hear and the men around me close in. One of them puts a needle through my arm and everything goes black.

I should have known.

Housewarming

So, i've finally gotten around to having that housewarming party thats been festering at the back of my mind for weeks now. Unfortunately, a slew of last minute cancels made it a fairly small affair. At least there wasn't any problems with having not enough refreshments, or those awkward moments when you search for something to say with people you aren't entirely familiar with. The whole affair went well enough all in all.

After the party I escorted Naomi home to ensure that she got back safely. Call me an old fashioned geezer but seeing as to how I was the one who delayed her, I should at least see her to her door. The purpose of my visit was two-fold. The first was so that I could see the trip she makes myself and decide if I was comfortable with her making a late night commute. The journey was pleasant enough, and the suburb she stays in appeared safe. That's one less thing to fret about.

The second reason I offered to follow is to meet her family. Or more specifically, her mother. I won't disclose what happened here but I will say that i'm fairly confident that her initial idea of me has changed somewhat after our meeting.

I can only hope its for the better.

Uploaded

Oh, before I forget, i've finally gotten some ferret pictures taken. They're up on Facebook. Holler at me if you want to see them but don't have me added as a friend.

Mii Fit

It has finally arrived. One of the most interesting peripherals in gaming history next to motion sensing cameras and the mod chip. I am of course referring to the Wii's Balance Board. The Board is an interesting...well....board that you lay on the floor and stand on. An array of pressure sensors then detect shifts in posture, weight, and movement and translates it into ingame malarky.

I am highly amused and intrigued by the concept. For starters, the Board comes bundled with the Wii Fit software (which is more of an exercise program with game elements). In a box. A hefty box. Apparently, fitness begins at the checkout counter. I estimate the board to be at least 2-3kgs heavy though i'm probably off by a few hundred grams.

Once you've loaded it up and synchronised your Board with the console, you step on it for the first unabashedly direct (and no doubt the precursor to many) appraisal. Unsurprisingly, my center of gravity is slightly off to the left and my BMI, although within the ideal range is not quite in the area of the magic 22. Studies indicate that a BMI of 22 is the healthiest BMI. Literally. Apprently you get sick less if your BMI is 22. Iiiiiinteresting.

So, once all the initial jargle is dispensed with, you're asked to set a weight/BMI target you want to achieve and a time limit which ranges from a week to a whole year. Apparently I need to lose about 7kgs to achieve a BMI of 22. Lets see if Wii Fit can help me do that. I'm by no means overweight, but I could probably do with tightening the belly and gut area a bit. To play it safe, I opted for a 3 month target limit.

Finally, you get to the exercises themselves. These range from Yoga poses, muscle workouts reminiscent of pilates and fun activities like skiing and even a very basic dancing activity. The core aim of the software is designed to help people attain and maintain proper posture, balance as well as weight goals. The activities show you the muscle groups you will be working on, and even has workout "sets" to complete where you perform specific exercises to target particular muscle groups.

Needless to say, its a pretty nifty software and peripheral. I can see the Board being used for more than just fitness. At the very least they can double as the pedals for a racing game. My biggest concern is that they won't maximise the potential of the Board, as its a pretty pricey package to use for just one game.

As always, the moment something vaguely innovative or controversial comes out, some concerned American citizen will post a well researched (and no doubt well meaning) article about the dangers of said innovation.

Here is an example:
http://au.wii.gamespy.com/wii/wii-fit/872341p1.html

If Mrs Hobbes took the time to read the manual, it clearly states that BMI calculations are based on a sampling of average ADULTS. It also goes on to say that for users below a certain age, the reading will most likely be inaccurate and should not be taken seriously. Come on people. The Board isn't a fitness expert. It's a big piece of plastic designed by a VIDEO GAME company.

Don't.
Take it.
Personally.

Food for thought

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFBZ_uAbxS0

Take a look.

What in the name of L. Ron Hubbard is a "Freedom Medal of Valor"!? Is Tom a patriot? Did he serve is country battling threats to America on the frontlines? Does the medal come with fries and an apple pie!?

Oh well, I guess i'm one to talk, having only just gotten myself a "Triple Deluxe Mega Platinum Liberation Trophy of Bravado, Gusto aaaaaaaaaand Bombast". In a combo meal. With a title of equal or lesser obnoxious...ness.

Does this mean I win?

Edit:

Here's another video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Tj6lE1PjGk&feature=related

It makes my chest swell with pride! The clarion call of trumpets fill my ears, and if I close my eyes I can see the American flag waving resolutely in the background. Oh wait. Its not that kind of video.

Funny how they talk about God when and man's inalienable rights to religion and so forth when you have to sign a waiver saying that you renounce your previous religion when you want to become a Scientologist. From my understanding, the concept or notion of a higher power than Man (ie; God) doesn't exist in Scientology.

You know, when I think about it, I don't actually have a reason to slam Scientology. I guess i'm just trying to exercise my inalienable right to free speech and expressing my opinion.

Writer's blog

What an uninspired play on words! Oh well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. By now i'm sure you all know that i'm a discount warehouse of bad puns anyway.

First off I have to say that i've been a negligent parent. These past few days 1-UP has been largely confined to her cage or left to her own devices as assembly people came over and I get the place a little more organized. Having become more than a little proficient at escaping her cage, i've had to padlock the door and essentially place her under house arrest while i'm out or asleep so I can remain relatively sane. Having discovered that her usual door opening tricks no longer work, she instead found a way to remove the bottom panel of her cage and try to escape from there. Fortunately, the bottom panel does not lead to any exit. Its still a feat for something that has no opposable thunbs or indeed any fingers to speak of to do though. I should observe her carefully.

Like any guilty parent, I overcompensate by feeding her an inordinately large amount of treats. If this keeps up, she'll be a fat waddly ferret by the end of the month. While that does have certain advantages, the reduced mobility and climbing ability being chief among them, I prefer her to remain her sleek self. Speaking of climbing, the little fuzzy nearly gave me a heart attack when she climbed up and stuck her head out of my OPEN bedroom window. Fortunately I was fast enough to grab her before she could entertain any notion of soaring (or falling) through two storeys. Even if she did survive, the chinese restaurant downstairs would seriously freak out. As if I don't have enough problems as it is.

Which brings me to my next point. Thanks to the installation of the wrong fire alarm, the restaurant downstairs has set off the fire alarm twice this week. I joked with the building manager and asked whether it was Firemen Appreciation Week.

He wasn't all that impressed.

After a day of chores, Naomi came over and we headed over to Kinokuniya, making a detour at the local kebab place along the way. She had never tried shisha before so we had a go of the apple flavored variety and chatted lightly while we watched Sydney go by. I have to say that the kebab place is strategically located for a good shisha session. I should go do it again. Once we've smoked our fill, we took a bus up to Town Hall and went into the bookstore for the main even of my day, a book signing with my favorite author Neil Gaiman.

Needless to say, the line was pretty damn long. The last time I had the pleasure of meeting Neil at a similar event, I didn't have to wait as long by virtue of the fact that there wasn't quite as many people. So Naomi and I alternately sat, scooted, shimmied, and plain old walked our way along the store until we finally reached him. Before the line started to move though, we were treated to a reading from 2 chapters of his upcoming book and then to a short Q&A session. Fast forward 2 and a half hours later, we were finally free from the line. Between the two of us, we managed to get four books signed.

Good times!

Prologue Part 1 - Torture

It should have ended with that gunshot. Two inches to the left and even if I did survive i'd be a vegetable. But they're too vindictive for that.

It should have ended with that gunshot.

But now it looks like i'm in for a long day.

They asked the easy questions first, but even easy questions tax a man when he's been shot in the head. She had good aim too. Grazed the skull. If I could move my hands i'm dead sure I could probably trace an almost straight line of bone that cuts across the side of head.

If I could move my hands.

But I can't.

Truth be told i'm surprised that I can put a coherent sentence in my head, let alone speak out loud. Every inch of me hurts, and I mean every inch. Blood and sweat blur my already failing vision. More than a few of my teeth are knocked loose. Another blow comes and I feel more than hear the crunch of breaking bones. My nose wasn't broken before.

It is now.

With more effort than it should take I spit blood, teeth and my name, rank and unit.
I realize now that i've been muttering the same thing over and over again. People say that you should try to repeat only those 3 pieces of information under torture. I'm sure I don't cut a striking figure mumbling like a lunatic. But it works.

They ask.
I give them the same answer.

They ask again. Politely.
Name. Rank. Unit.

They stop asking questions and use their hands instead.
Good. It means i've beat them this time.

A solid blow lands neatly across my bandaged head and the world I know explodes into a mass of strobing lights and pain. I feel light, like I can fly. If only I could spread my wings I could leave this place behind.

But that's only the pain and blood loss talking. After what seems like a lifetime later, I crash onto the floor and all of a sudden all the lights are gone. No stars, no light, no feeling, nothing.

I pass out, hoping to wake in a place where I keep no secrets.

But I won't.

Assembled!

Another day has come and gone and every piece of furniture has finally been assembled. That is, until I get more. A bookshelf probably. On the whole it was a fairly decent day. The assembly guys ran more than a little late because apparently one of them had to visit his sick father. Whether thats true or not is irrelevant because they did some good work modifying the wardrobe and AV cabinet.

Doubt the cut holes will add anything to the resale value though.

In a rare moment of fun I was also severly trounced by my sister in Mario Kart. I haven't been playing that game well since Friday night at Derek's. I wonder if they slipped me some kind of gaming kryptonite....

My sister's friends came over as usual and proceeded to whip up some chicken steaks, which we all consumed hungrily. They were even thoughtful enough to leave a bowl of fries for the assembly guys. Naomi also came over and we talked a bit about writing (Yay!) and assignments (Boo!). The night culminated in me finding out exactly how uncoordinated I am in a game of Dance Dance Revolution. That's right. I tried. And Drum Mania. Don't ask. I enjoyed myself though! I really need to work on my feet though. My footwork is ATROCIOUS.

Anyway, I thought I might spice up the blog with a story or two of my own creation. I'm not sure how things will go but I might organize it into a miniseries of some kind that runs concurrently with the blog. We'll see. Anyway, the next entry is the start of the story. Its a bit dark, but I wanted to establish a few things first before I take creative liberty with it.

Feel free to comment.

Resisting

It looks like my lethargy is hanging over my like a black cloud again. At least its shady down here. Its not motivation i've been lacking over the past few days. I have that in spades. Its just been ground to a fine paste thanks to shoddy groupwork and the prospect of conquering that mountainous pile of horse dung I call chores.

It appears to be something Naomi shares as well. If you haven't already guessed, Naomi is my new love interest. Things moved pretty fast for us, as it often does for me these past few relationships but its still a change I welcome. Having done enough lovey dovey blogs in the past, i'm just going to sit this one out and see how it unfolds. I'm certainly very fond of her though. Being an excellent writer as well a painter, she is quite unlike anyone i've gone out with so far.

But, as always, I digress.

Tomorrow Chris the assembly guy is popping over to fix up a few small pieces of furniture as well as make some custom adjustments to a few of my existing ones. Essentially some cuts need to be made to ensure that I can easily access plug points my wardrobe and AV cabinet are currently covering.

I suppose another cause for concern is the passing of the closing date for many job application intakes. I've sent a fair few resumes out but there's always that nagging feeling you get at the back of your mind that tells you you could have done more.

And I will.

Blue pill/Red pill

Its quarter past 2 in the morning and i've just gotten back from a costume party held about 10 minutes away. Having no real costume to wear, I decided to don an old coat I had tailored from a goth shop close to 4 years ago and wear sunglasses. And so I became Neo. By and large I was a bit disappointed to see that the majority of people didn't turn up in a costume. Those who did however did pretty good. My host Gayatri made for a lovely Fairy Godmother, while a few other managed to dress up as pilots, stewardesses, mexicans, rock stars and cowboys. All in all, i'd have to say that it was a pretty decent night.

The real reason i'm writing however is to update on my relationship status. It's complicated. I've recently come into contact with a beautiful and intelligent fellow student, of whom i've had the pleasure of spending some time with. I must admit that i'm interested and i'd like to think that she feels the same way. But we'll see. This sort of thing needs a bit of time to straighten itself out. But hey, for an unemployed student like myself, time is the one thing I have an abundance of.

We'll just have to wait and see how this goes.

Energizer Ferret

I am tired.
So very tired.

I can't recall when was the last time I got any decent sleep. Oh i've slept, but no more that seem to be a few short hours at a stretch. Mostly, its due to me staying up late and having to get up early. Getting furniture delivered in morning is an example, as is having assembly people mosey in at 6:30 am. Having chosen to sleep in late to begin with, I can hardly fault others for my own lack of discipline. So this fatigue i'm saddled with is solely my cross to bear.

Before I turn in for the night, let me see if I can first put the past week back in order.

The day after my Ikea visit, having thrown down 6k dollars to buy what amounted to be a total of 51 boxes of various sizes in furniture, everything was delivered early in the morning. The deliverymen performed their duties most reluctantly and as a result the majority of the cargo (including 2 sofa sets) was carried down a flight of stairs by me and Sabrina. Needless to say, after the days exertions was over, I didn't feel the need to for my usual pilates and yoga classes. 2 days later, the aforementioned assembly people came over and fixed everything up and fortunately, this turned out to be a far more pleasant event. They were professional, courteous, and more than willing to hold a conversation or give suggestions. I for one will be more than happy to use their services again if and when the time comes.

Now that I have furniture, i've begun the long drawn out process of shelving and bringing things out of storage. This place is finally becoming a home.

As mentioned in my previous post, a radical change seems to have settled over 1-UP. The little girl seems to be brimming with boundless energy, staying awake and active for far longer than usual. I'm not talking about an hour increase in activity. I'm talking about 5 to 6. There are a variety of factors that could be influencing her behaviour with the chief among them being a new brand of food i've introduced into her diet. At the next vet meeting i'll be sure to ask about it.

For now though, i'm going to wrap this one up and retire for the evening. There is, as always more to write and tell.

But it will have to wait.

Split/Personality?

1-UP has returned safely from the vet, all stitched and normal. Or is she? Seems like this is the perfect horror movie set up where one of the characters disappear for a bit and come back....changed. My little girl does seem to be a bit different. For starters, she's a lot more mellow now and putters around the place in a seemingly benign matter until something flips a switch in her brain and she thinks that trying to rip off one of my appendages is funny. In other words, she doesn't bite, and then she bites a lot. How odd. I have to keep a close eye on her over the next few days and see if she's eating and drinking well.

The Career Fair was tough as expected, with many companies hiring online locals and residents. This reduced my available pool of employers considerably, but after talking with a lot of the recruiters i've found ways around some of the rules. I still pretty much have to apply for PR either way though.

In other news, i've managed get the results for my group's first assignment this semester, and the its not encouraging. Still, its nothing we can't bounce back from, since the biggest issue the marker had with the submission was that the information wasn't presented in a manner they were looking for. I might have to argue for a few more marks there, but not after i've thoroughly canvassed the document.

Tomorrow i'm off to Ikea with Sabrina yet again. This time we're actually going to purchase the furniture, which is great. Hopefully everything will be delivered on Monday, and we can have a large portion of the stuff assembled by the end of the week.

I can't wait.

Burninated

In a fit of carelessness and bad comedy that could probably rival Mr. Bean, I almost managed to set the apartment on fire today. Well, nothing so dramatic, but I DID manage to finally do what almost every international student does at least once while studying overseas. I set off the smoke alarm with my rather questionable cooking skills.

The evening started innocently enough. 1-UP will be picked up by the vet in a few hours and I was due to cook some chicken parmigiana and some garlic prawns for dinner. Enter the olive oiled frying pan, which I set over the stove to heat before I was to place my defrosted chicken filets. Seeing as to how i'm gearing up for tomorrow's career fair at uni, I scooted over to the computer and checked out a few employer websites. I must have waited too long because when I returned to place the chicken into the pan, the whole ensemble literally burst into flames the moment flesh hit oily steel. This quickly set off the smoke alarm which to my relief (and slight surprise) did not summon the authorities. I guess we're supposed to call if it got really bad. I doused the small but definitely raging inferno with some water and surveyed the damage.

For one, I doubt I could turn THAT particular piece of breast filet into anything edible. No problem, I have spares. The countertop itself was undamaged, and it looks like the only thing I need to do is to wipe the soot off the cupboard doors and ceiling. Thank. God. I can certainly think of worse things that could have happened. The rest of the chicken has been safely grilled and is now in the oven with the prawns to cook the sauce and melt the cheese.

Dinner should still be quite alright. Now I better go check the oven....

Stolen

It seems that some malign force is arrayed against me. Well, not really but sometimes it certainly feels that way. Sleep has been a rare and precious commodity for me lately (as it always is). The noises little 1-UP makes in her sleep range from soft, contented cooing to heart-stopping coughs that make me sit bolt upright in my bed. Apparently its normal, so i'm sure I can get used to it in time. What's plaguing my rest is actually the fact that I live in an apartment block. With people coming and going at all times, one can expect a certain level of background noise and get over it. I can handle that. I can even handle people speaking loudly out of balconies nearby at 3 a-freaking-m in the morning. What I can't handle, is the orchestral sounds of construction. That's right. Construction. Up until 2am. Outside my window.

Needless to say, i've been sleeping VERY soundly of late, dreaming of naked women, or sheep, or both. Whatever it is that people dream about nowadays. Bah, i'm so tired my capacity for sarcasm fails me. I am truly beset by evil.

The icing on the heaping dung cake however, is not my lack of sleep, or sheep, or even naked women (the loss of which is truly lamentable, but that's a different subject). It's the fact that my WoW account has been hacked, and my characters scattered to the four winds. My Shaman seems to be missing altogether. Good times! At this point i'm not entirely all that fussed about my characters being transferred by some doof who thinks he's too clever for me to do something about it. Nope, not at all. What bothers me is the invasion of privacy that the whole debacle entails. I feel like someone looked through my underwear drawer and seeing some interesting lacy items, decided to take a few souvenirs. Hell, if I knew my account was about to be hacked, I would gladly have simply given my avatars and items away. Not to the hacker of course, but to the more deserving social strata. I'll have a chat with Blizzard soon and see what can be done.

My past week hasn't been all that bad though. For what its worth, I had a lovely time out yesterday. I met up with fellow Earth Hour survivor Vanessa at Circular Quay and we proceeded on a leisurely stroll through the Rocks Market, Museum of Contemporary Art (which had some.....interesting art on display) and even managed to catch a movie at Town Hall. Today included a nice chat with Tina, of whom I am glad to have cleared a few things.

I've also made the booking. After observing 1-UP very carefully over the past few days, i've decided that she should have her operation soon. Currently the vet is scheduled to take her away on Teusday night, returning her about 24 hours after. Let's just say that an enlarged vulva on a female ferret is some cause for concern. Pictures ARE coming soon though (of the ferret, not the vulva). Get your head out of the gutter!

Earth Hour

What a weekend it has been so far. First off, allow me to back up a few days and state for the record that 1-UP has been very well behaved. She's almost stopped biting (me) completely and continues to amaze me with her intelligence and her penchant for going bonkers. I've also had a vet visit, which she performed admirably well. There was some issue with trying to get her claws cut but after letting her lick out of the Nutripet (a pet vitamin treat) tube, the silly girl was so happy that she just went limp and let the vet finish with her in 30 seconds flat. All the while she was licking from the tube completely oblivious that she was being groomed. It seems like Nutripet works wonders as a ferret pacifier. I gotta get more of that stuff! She needs to have another vet visit to get neutered soon, and I feel kind of sorry for her. Unfortunately, its a necessary procedure as female ferrets in heat never come out of it unless she's mated. If she doesn't go under the knife, she would bleed to death in under a week!

Now, back to the week proper. Most of my time has been spent in group meetings trying to finish my first assignment for the semester, which has been submitted on Friday. My good friend Rachael came to visit Sydney as well, so after taking her to the backpackers in Bondi where she was to stay on Thursday night we went out to Home in Darling Harbor for a few drinks. As usual, the place was packed to the gills with people dancing the annoyingly loud and techno garbage they had put on. As Rachael came with several friends the whole group of us lounged around in the RNB lounge where the music was of a much more sensible decibel range and my brain finally stopped vibrating. Still, it got to me eventually and I excused myself at the comparatively sedate hour of 4am and made my way back.

Seeing as to how today was Rachael's last day in Sydney, I went out to meet her at Bondi beach for lunch and we hung around the area. Lunch consisted of lamb ribs by the beach and it was a spectacular day. The sun was out and the beach was full of people. After getting a Maxicab for Rachael and her friends I went back to get ready for the highlight of my day.

Earth Hour.

Or more specifically, Earth Hour singles event at Sydney World Tower. That's right, I spent Earth Hour in the company of single men and women culled from all across Sydney from a dating website. And what a night it was. The food was excellent (considering the fact each course was no bigger than 2 slices of baby carrot and food the size of a small cracker). The were 5 courses in total, and at the end of each course the men were instructed to move to the next table and meet the ladies while having the next meal. All in all i'd have to say that the event was pretty interesting. Considering that the age group was supposed to be between 25-39, I think there were a few men and women there who had to get creative with their age. The view from World Tower itself was beautiful as well, and we all turned to look on the city when it was time to cut the lights. As expected, only a handful of buildings shut down while the rest of Sydney sparkled prettily in defiance. Personally, the whole Earth Hour idea seems like a big publicity stunt. we would probably get more results if we had Earth Minute every day of the year, than an Earth Hour once a year that people hardly care about and are likely to forget the very next day. But hey, who am I to complain?

After the even was over everyone retreated to the revolving bar downstairs and had a round of drinks while I made idle chatter with some new friends over a tall glass of orange juice. As is my custom, I soon got bored and impatient of drinking and proceeded to make my way home. Upon entering my room I was greeted by a very guilty looking 1-UP who was still awake (naughty girl). Come morning i'll have to check and see what she's trashed while i'm out.

Punctured

My little ferret has proven to be quite the cute handful! I've let her have the run of my bedroom and she's had a lot of fun tunneling under my quilt and chewing on my Wii nunchuk thumbstick. Watching her scoot around with reckless abandon is fun in and on itself. It's hard not to smile when the silly little thing goes bonkers for no reason other than the fact that its happy. There's only one little snag - its a bit bitey. Ferrets love to nip and nibble with other ferrets as part of their play. The problem is, a human's skin isn't as thick as a ferrets (though I do know of some extremely thick skinned people). This pretty much means that a ferret will bite on your extremeties as it plays, and it hurts. The little girl doesn't draw blood often or anything, but both my hands are covered in red, criss-crossed welts as a result of her teeth. Fortunately, its only a trait baby ferrets have and most of them will outgrow the phase as they get older. This is a blessing because being carnivores, their jaw strength will easily increase past the point where they can break a man's bones.

Currently, i'm training her out of biting by scruffing (holding her by some loose skin behind her neck much like cats and parent ferrets) and saying no. I've only had her since Thursday, but by now she already knows that when I say no, scruffing is sure to follow so she lets go. Intelligent little girl. Now that I can stop her from biting, i've got to train her to refrain from it altogether. To help me do that, i've bought a spray that I can coat my hands and legs with that will give her a terrible taste if she bites. Sooner or later she'll equate human skin with yuckiness and she'll stop. Then I can train her proper ^_^. Ferrets are smart little creatures and if i'm not consistent i'll be playing right into her paws.

In other news, I finally went to try acupuncture out today. The whole experience was over in about 30 mintes or so, and having a very specific request (I needed something to help me sleep) the practitioner only stuck about 7 needles in me. 1 between the thumb and forefinger on each hand, another pair on my wrists, 1 for each leg and finally a single needle for my forehead. I've also got some ginseng pills and a herbal detox to try out.

Why not? I've tried pretty much everything else.

Oh, i'm also very happy to announce that i've decided on a name for my little bundle of toothy mischief. She shall henceforth be known as 1-UP. That's right. She's named after that sweetest and most magical of lifegiving mushrooms.

Mario would shed a tear.

Rise of the Rodent

It is a glorious time to be me. The powers-that-be (more specifically, Australia Post) has finally decided that I should receive my preconfigured wireless modem today. A few minutes of wiring and a bleed inducing head knock on my shelf later, and VOILA! The wonderful magic of the all knowing and all encompassing Internet is flowing through the cyber veins of my computer and other networked devices. No more late nights at the freezing cafe accompanied by my customary McDonald's apple pie. No more fishing for loose change to feed the machines so I can continue my ranting and raving. More importantly, my sister has no reason to hang around the dodgy shopkeep anymore. Hooray for one less worry!

But no ladies and gents, boys and girls, that's not all!

I have finally, after years of missed opportunities made a commitment to bring what i've wanted for so long into my house (and heart). That's right, I am now a proud owner of a BEAUTIFUL, absolutely GORGEOUS cream coffee colored, sable ferret. Yep. A ferret. A LADY ferret no less. One of poise, distinction, class, and poop. I've brought the cage home but haven't assembled it yet so i'll only be bringing my new love home tomorrow but i've visited her pretty much daily for the past few days to make sure she's doing fine. Expect many, many pictures and shenanigans to follow.

The King of All Cosmos

It seems that I can't put pen to paper (or finger to keyboard in this case) without spouting some kind of melancholy gibberish lately. Boo. Boo I say. For the sake of variety let's instead take a look at everything else that's been happening in my life. It's not all that bad actually.

For starters, my brain damage inducing ambidexterity exercises are going pretty well. With my right hand, my writing no longer looks like a geriatric baboon wiped its butt on a leaf and pasted it onto a clean sheet of paper. Instead, it has graduated to the realm of looking like something a deranged spider monkey might come up with if given some very primitive writing tools. Once my skills elevate past the animal kingdom I might actually be able to show people the results.

Physically speaking i'm also happy to notice some subtle improvements courtesy of my swimming, pilates and yoga regime. I'm still a long way off from what i'd be proud of, but its nice to see my clothes filling out a bit, and not sideways either. I also seem to be putting on a bit of weight, which is more than likely caused by me eating proper food this semester. The last one was great for taste, but not so good for nutritional value. I'm still having some lethargy issues but I think thats got more to do with my mental state than anything else.

On the relaxation front, i've made quite a fair bit of progress on a bunch of my older, unfinished games. I've also finished a few new ones as well, including the quirky Beautiful Katamari on the 360. Oh King of All Cosmos, how manly is thy moustache, and how awesomely powerful is thy tennis serve. Once again the tiny Prince is called upon to fix his father's glorious mistakes (this time involving a black hole torn into space courtesy of said awesome tennis serve). After several rolling adventures, I was finally able to plug the evil hole by shoving a massive Katamari close to about a million kilometres in diameter into, thereby stopping the Cosmos from leaking to King only knows where.

Speaking of the Cosmos, i've finally managed to weasel a whopping 50% discount on a SkyScout. Needless to say, I am the proud owner of yet another gadget that will not improve the quality of my life in the slightest. What it WILL do, however, is cause me to wander the streets on sleepless nights while I look up the name and history of just about everything I can see in the sky.

If I can't sleep I might as well educate myself.

The anatomy of Guilt

So by now i'm sure you've gathered that i've been having trouble in the barren wasteland formerly known as Paradise. At this point i'm pretty sure that irreparable harm has been caused to the friendship between Her and myself. I'd like to say that the whole affair is regrettable, except I don't regret it.

I've often wondered what it is about me that members of the fairer sex initially fascinating but eventually come to revile. It's like the story of the ugly duckling in reverse, or a butterfly turning into a worm. Given my track record I can no longer discount the fact women sometimes don't know what they want (aren't we all guilty of that to some degree?). I'm all but convinced that the problem lies with me. There must be something I do (or don't do) that just turns things sour after a certain point. With some people it simply happens faster than others. I'm not being a featist either. Given my experiences, the only logical conclusion I can come to is that there's something broken about me. And this is what puzzles me. I'm no angel, but I know i'm a pretty decent guy.

Another mind boggling but sadly common observation i've made is that people seem to be 'happy' to be stuck in one abusive relationship after another. I say happy because that's the only way I can justify their behaviour. I mean, taken at face value, who in their right mind would willingly continue a bad relationship? Does pain really equal love? Sometimes I feel like the only one who can see that statement for the brand of insanity it really is. Does that mean that my crime is that of clarity? Or is my problem the fact that I make people face themselves. Truth has always been a bitter pill to swallow and that will never change. I'm no stranger to running, i've lived my whole life running to or from something. The one thing i've learned in my years of that futile endeavor is that you can never run away from yourself. So why not stop and face it? How can people make the same mistake over and over again?

Is it familiarity?
Is it because a bad relationship the only they've known so it's the only thing they look for?
Does a person who knowingly hurts your feelings and puts you down love you? Where does one draw the line?

I guess my choice in women have also been suspect. In a way i'm just as messed up. I go for people who have been in terrible relationships and try to 'fix' things. I try to show people that nice people still exist. And then I get front row, center seats for when they come up with some idiot excuse or another and go into another relationship EXACTLY like their last one. A classic case of same shit, different smell. I guess I just haven't learned my lesson as far as that's concerned. And it frustrates me.

In life, assholes get the good girls. And nice guys get nothing. I'm tired of people thinking of me only when times are bad. I don't want to be the guy they confide in or call when they have issues, and promptly forget when their boyfriends are behaving. I need someone confident. Someone who has a backbone, and the balls to admit how things are really going. No bullshit, no smokescreens, no regrets, and no guilt. Someone willing to take responsibility for their own actions.

In a way I guess She was right.
I deserve better.

Too good to be true

It's official. The saying "I'm not good enough for you" is the thing I hate the most in whole wide world.

More than hypocrites.
More than posers.
More than automated telephone queues.
More than techno.
More than shoddy workmanship.
More than misrepresentation.

Having heard that God damned sentence twice over the past 6 months is almost more than I can take. I thought beauty is in the eye of the beholder and all that rubbish. I guess some people can't stand what they see in the mirror so they think everyone sees them the same way.

I'm not being fair. I'm writing in anger.

But I mean every word.

Voluntary brain damage

On a whim (I seem to be doing that a lot lately) I decided to try and improve my skills with my right hand and essentially shoot for ambidexterity. To that end i've acquired a small training software on the DS that supposedly helps to increase a person's skill with their non dominant hand through a series of exercises done daily. In addition to that, i've also been consciously favoring my right hand over my left when going about my day.

I imagined a world of possibilities.
A world where I can use such common everyday items such as viciously right handed can openers with ease. Yes, that's right, can openers. And that's not the only thing designed with only right handers in mind either. The odds are stacked against me. Take a closer look at things designed to be held and operated and you'll see what I mean too. Stuff like scissors, hell even video game controllers.

I also thought would help rewire my brain for better efficiency. In that, I was half right. As I trolled through the internet earlier today I found this gem of an article, cheerfully entitled "Ambidextrous people are Brain-Damaged". Gee mommy, does that story have unicorns and faeries in it?

No Timmy, it does not.
AND NEITHER DOES YOUR LIFE.

Here's an excerpt of this beautiful, moving composition.

Consequences of Converting Handedness. The handedness of a human being is an expression of an inborn, innate lateralization of the cerebral hemispheres where one side dominates. In the neural system, the tracts are "crossed". Thus, a dominant right cerebral hemisphere results in a dominant left hand and a dominance of the left cerebral hemisphere is responsible for right-handedness [18].

Converting handedness, whether it be from a dominant left hand to a non-dominant right or the reverse, (especially during writing) does not result in a change in cerebral dominance but rather a multifaceted cerebral disturbance or damage. This functional cerebral damage (dysfunction, blockage, and inhibition of brain functioning) can then be manifest in the following primary disorders: disturbances in memory for all three areas of information processing (encoding, storage, and recall); difficulty in concentration (early fatigue); difficulty in reading and spelling (legasthenic problems); spatial disorientation (e.g. confusion of left and right); speech problems ranging from stammering to stuttering; fine motor disturbances evident in writing and other activities requiring precision.

The primary consequences can then go on and transform into secondary consequences: feelings of inferiority; shyness; introversion; overcompensation; defiance to belligerence; braggadocio; provocative behavior; bed-wetting; nail-biting; emotional problems that can last into adulthood with neurotic and/or psychosomatic symptomology; and personality disturbances [ 3,4,7,8,9,11,14] .

The next paragraph is entitled "Cerebral Disturbances". In BOLD.

Hmm, I think I might not exactly be helping myself with this ambidexterity thing.
The full article is available here:
http://www.linkshaender-beratung.de/english/Ambidextrous.htm

Figures that the writer is German.

In other news, the telephone at the apartment has finally been connected, so my ADSL application should fall through over the next week or so. I've also met with the interior designer again to revise the original concept he had submitted to decorate the apartment. The new proposal should cost a significantly smaller amount of money.

Anyway, i'm off to write "I have voluntary brain damage" 50 times with my right hand. That ought to be juuuuuuuuust peachy.

Acupuncture and the cure for lethargy

I haven't been at my best these past few weeks. Between not sleeping well, feeling knackered all day and having constant mental blanks I retained enough sense to wonder what the hell was going on. More importantly, I began to consider possible measures I could take to shake the cobwebs out of my head (and off my body, it seems). Seeing as to how i've been considering giving acupuncture a try, this seemed like the perfect excuse to give it a shot. I made an appointment with a local Chinese medicine practitioner and proceeded to get myself checked out. In keeping with the whole 'I keep forgetting stuff' theme that i've got going on, I forgot to bring my wallet along with me. Fortunately my sister Sabrina was on hand to bring it over.

The checkup itself was fairly brief. The guy just checked my pulse from my left hand, then my right and took a look at my tongue. The diagnosis - I apparently have something that's screwing around with my liver. There was also something about some Yin energy blockage (or was it leakage?). Acupuncture was discussed as a possible solution but considering my strapping young age, the guy recommended that I try some herbal remedies first before going for the needles. Curses. Foiled by my youth! So I walked away from the encounter sporting some Ginseng pills for energy and a bottle of pills that will help detoxify my liver. I'm supposed to gulp down 10 of those buggers 3 times a day. Fortunately, they're tiny and spherical in shape so that hasn't been an issue so far. I strongly suspect that they're roach dung despite the ingredient label claiming that it contains powdered root of some such miracle plant.

After the whole affair I decided to get some new duds and shoes seeing as to how the pair I was wearing are pretty much destroyed. Gotta love that comfort though. Nothing beats an old worn in shoe for that. I'm also currently on the lookout for a good pen. I'll probably hit the city soon and pick myself up a nice Parker or something we'll see.

I am also currently obsessing about this:
http://www.celestron.com/skyscout/index.php

I wants it. I wants it bad.

Game (over)

Well, it looks like my stint at Game/Games Wizards have finally come to an end. I can't in all honesty say that the experience was entirely a pleasant one, but all in all the memories were more good than bad. Most of my issues with the company stem from the fact that things aren't as organized as it should but who knows? That might have been exactly what a video game retailer is about.

So I guess now its time to hit the job market and see what's out there for me. I'm not going to be picky at this stage, so long as I get a position that offers advancement that is related to my field of study.

It would seem that i'm undergoing a pretty radical change, from cleaning up my clothing to a new fitness regime, and now i'm free for a new job. I wonder how things will look like 6 months down the line. Where will I be, what will I be and more importantly, who will I be?

Who will I be?

I do

There's an almost magical feeling you get when you watch someone tie the knot. You know the feeling. The hope that the newlyweds will beat the odds and be one of those fairy tale couples you keep hearing about but never really see.

Today, I was privileged enough to witness Alan, who happens to be my mother's business partner, and Kylie get married. The simple but heartfelt ceremony took place on a boat with the gorgeous Sydney Harbor Bridge as an eye catching backdrop. The weather was behaving and it was a glorious sunset. It would seem that the union is truly blessed. On this post I would like to near-immortalize my best wishes for the happy couple and sincerely hope that life brings them nothing they can't overcome as a pair. Not to mention all that other stuff like happiness, joy and good tax returns.

As we continued to cruise back and forth in the numerous bays in the area, I found myself in relative solitude on the cold, wind upper deck (from which most people had previously retreated from once the sun had set and the temperature drop a few notches). I put the noise and the dancing people behind me while I spent time gazing out across the water and watching seagulls circle the ship, no doubt eager for a morsel or two. After a while I realized that while my gaze continued to stretch across the scenery, my attention had long turned inward into myself. For a normally social person, I dislike crowds and loud music. In parties I would more often than not find a relatively quiet spot and just...be. I would watch people enjoy themselves and sometimes wonder why I never quite fit in. Not that i'd even want to sometimes. Still, it makes me wonder. Here I am, standing apart from totally likeable people, wishing someone would join me in self imposed exile.

I pushed my thoughts away from such a depressing and nonsensical line of thinking and thought about my current situation in life. My studies, my nonexistant employment, my almost-but-not-quite relationship (which I still can't say for sure). I seem to be at a crossroads. On the one hand, the life I know and am quite comfortable with is very nearly at an end. On the other hand stretches that black, gaping chasm of the unknown. What I would give for a guiding light. Or a map. And as it turns out, guidance found me.

In an odd and decidedly atypical moment of clarity, I felt as if my life was revealed to me. Every decision, every consequence, every mistake, smile, tear. Everything. Maybe it was the way the light reflected over the water, or the way the sea churns and pulses like a living being. Maybe it was the way the seagulls, a ghostly blue-gray in the darkness circle the vessel with such grace and dignity that it made me feel like I was the animal. Either way, something triggered my most recent epiphany. The feeling is defying my attempts to put into words.

And the lesson I learned is simple really. What it is, I cannot say for the moment.

The funny thing is, I wasn't the only person staring off into the distance. Several other people were also lost in the moment. I can only hope they find the answers they were looking for.

They say no man is an island.
Tonight I know for certain that they're wrong.

Back to the grind

My final semester has officially started. The subject i'm taking seems to be a fairly challenging one, which is always welcome as far as i'm concerned.

I'm glad to be on the final stretch at last.

Nightmare 1

What a crazy dream! There I was, minding my own business being asleep and all when suddenly I was plopped back home in Malaysia. I don't recall what I was doing exactly, but I think I was waiting in the front lawn for a relative (an aunt I don't recognize) to bring my sister's baby Iman back home. All was fine and dandy for a while when suddenly my family members all turned into zombies! Not the six feet under, stinky rotting maggoty type zombies either. Nope, they were whole and looked normal. Except they were zombies. Don't ask me how I knew. I remained the only non zombified person on the compound and staged an escape.

By escape I mean that I ran like hounds of the Nine Hells were intent on gnawing on my entrails. All the while I could hear a voice in my head and as it turns out, the original zombie was my relative! She keeps on telling me to surrender and just drop in for a bite (I know, how polite!) and I just kept on running. I managed to escape and hide but over time I knew that they would eventually zombify the world. Wierd eh?

And then for some reason I went diving by a beach. I went in search of something I lost, but after a few dives I felt that the sea had reclaimed it. All the while zombies were multiplying of course.

In the back of my head I knew I was dreaming. I even woke up a few times, only to resume the dream when I fell back asleep.

So on a whim i'm currently checking a dream interpreter at http://dreammoods.com

I've looked up the keywords "chase", "zombie", "diving", "beach" and "lost".

Here's what I got:

Chase.
Chase dreams may represent your way of coping with fears, stress or various situations in your waking life. Instead of confronting the situation, you are running away and avoiding it. The pursuer or attacker who is chasing you in your dream may also represent a part of yourself. Your own feelings of anger, jealousy, fear, and possibly love, can assume the appearance of threatening figure. You may be projecting these feelings onto the unknown chaser.

Zombie.
To dream that you are a zombie, denotes that you are physically and/or emotionally detached from people and situations that are currently surrounding you. You are out of touch. Alternatively, it may indicate that you are feeling dead inside and are simply going through the motions of daily living.

Diving.
To dream that you are diving into clear water, signifies an end to an embarrassing situation. Although you may experience some temporary setbacks, things will surely look up. Additionally, this dream may mean that you are trying to get to the bottom of a current situation and the root of your problems or feelings. It may also refer exploration of your unconscious.
To dream that you are diving into muddy water, signifies that you will suffer anxiety from the path of your affairs.

Beach.
To see the beach in your dream, symbolizes the meeting between your two states of mind. The sand is symbolic of the rational and mental processes while the water signifies the irrational, unsteady, and emotional aspects of yourself. It is a place of transition between the physical/material and the spiritual.
To dream that you are on the beach and looking out toward the ocean, indicates unknown and major changes that are occurring in your life. Consider the state of the ocean, whether it is calm, pleasant, forbidding, etc.

Lost/Lose.
To dream that you lose something may mean that you really have misplaced something that you had not realized yet. It may also be a signal for you to clean out and reorganize your life. You have become overwhelmed and distracted with the hustle and bustle of day-to-day life.
On a symbolic note, losing things in your dream may signify lost opportunities, past relationships or forgotten aspects of yourself. Your personal associations to the thing you lose will clue you into the emotional meaning and interpretation of your dream.

So lets take it from the top. According to this, i'm trying to escape everyday life. It also looks like i'm trying to figure myself out in the midst of major changes in my life. I should also clean out the skeletons on my closet and reorganize myself.

Well, put it that way, it doesn't sound so bad. Bear in mind that I didn't pick out the positive statements in each of the interpretations. Instead, I looked at all of them and saw a common theme. When I get home i'm going to take a gooooooooood look at myself hehe.

Either way, things should get interesting. Today will be my first day of class for this semester and tomorrow my younger sister is coming to stay with me.

Major change in my life indeed.

A suit and a pipe

In a fit of temporary insanity (well not really, it was premeditated) today I decided to do something i've been curious to do for a long time. I went down to the local tobacco store and bought myself a pipe. So much for not smoking.

For what its worth, my new birch pipe is a thing of beauty. I'll put a picture of it up when I get internet back at my place.

I've also gotten a very dashing suit for an upcoming wedding this Saturday. I'm generally not one to blow my own trumpet but I must say that putting on a fitted suit is quite an experience, and quite a transformation. It (almost) makes me wish for bygone days where people walked around in crisp suits and consequently got gunned down by 1920's era mobsters. It would be a shame to bleed on something so classy though. The hired suit is due back on Monday, but between now and then i'm going to be wearing it as much as I can. It just feels good.

Strange how a relatively simple outfit can change the way you look at yourself.

Incidentally, i'm currently on the lookout for a good detective name generator. If any of you folks know where I can find one, feel free to link it to me.

....there's water!?

As it turns out, my shisha fueled movie binge escapade extravaganza didn't quite pan out the way I hoped it would. Firstly, I had trouble just putting the thing together. After filling the bottom chamber with the right amount of water, I proceeded to engage in a titanic battle to fit the chamber to the rest of the assembly. That took a while. Next up was getting hot coals. A small bag of charcoal was graciously included in the kit but as it turns out, there's a reason as to why it was free. 30 minutes later I had crudely prepared the hot coals by burning a few pieces over the stove. Hey, when you're in an apartment you do what you can. Nevermind the acrylic carpets and the inherent fire hazard.

By now, the whole endeavor was already taking longer than I had hoped. Finally, everything was assembled and ready for smoking indulgence....except the fact that there was no smoke. Which meant that in my noobish enthusiasm, I probably did something wrong. I was about to fret over my not-quite flawless assembling skills when by chance I caught a glimpse of something shiny against the opposite wall. Now it had been raining heavily over the course of the evening and I expected some portions of the floor to be damp (as I had previously opened the windows in order to let the nonexistant smoke escape). What I didn't expect was to see parts of my wall trickle water down from the CEILING. Needless to say, I looked up. Horror of horrors, there it was. A small section of the ceiling paint was laden with water. You know the look. Bloated. Kind of like a boil. Water dripping. Dark Water horror kind of stuff.

I thought to myself, great. Absolutely 15 shades of dog turd awesome. Not only do I not get to die a horrible death in a tragic fire by burning coals over my stove, I might have to live with the threat of impending mould. Screw the water, that's bush league evil as far as home living is concerned. Mould is like the Antichrist. Like a bad rash in your nethers that just won't go away. Now I exaggerate. A little water isn't too big a deal that's true, but with autumn on the horizon and a lot more rainfall to be expected Sydney side, it'll be an uphill battle to ensure that things won't go nasty. I have to get this problem under control soon, or come winter the living area is going to look like a B-Grade slasher movie set piece.

So, considering the lateness of the hour at that point, I did what any man would do. I took a few towels, soaked up the water and put on the DVD i've been meaning to watch through the smoke.
SUPERBAD.

At least there's a silver lining in all this. The apartment building Defects Manager is bound by law to fix any problems I point out with the place as long as I do it within 3 months of moving in. Time to make him earn his pay.

Where there's smoke.....

So, i've finally gotten my place organized enough that it looks habitable. All I need to do now is to take care of some dishes, stock the fridge, vacuum get rid of some boxes. Seeing as to how I have a few days grace I might take things easy today and see how that goes. Pilates and yoga are on this evening so i'm sure to be in a world of hurt tomorrow but I think I can handle it.

In other news, the promised pool and gym at the apartment is still not ready, which is getting to be annoying. Fortunately, I have it on good authority that the pool should be usable tomorrow. We'll have to see if thats actually the case. I had no idea that living in an apartment in Sydney involves so much red tape. It would make even the most hardcore bondage enthusiast excited.

Seeing as to how i've got some free space now, I think i'll set up my shisha this evening and unwind with a movie or two while attempting to blow smoke rings. Should be fun. Apparently there's a fine art in regards to heat management and a good shisha drag. Looks like its a 2 for 1 special. Some fruity flavors AND learn physics. Is there anything that smoking carcinogenic substances can't do?

Of fitness and a game of 20 questions

Yesterday I thought i'd finally get off my ass about fitness since coming back to Sydney and joined up for a trial Pilates lesson down the road. After the obligatory introduction in which I got acquainted to a contraption called the 'Reformer' (which incidentally sounds very much like something you would find in prison) I attended the class.

There were about 6 of us at the time, and we went through what I was later told was an 'easy' class. I'd hate to see what the hard ones are like. It wasn't all THAT hard, but my body was relatively unused to the positions required to perform certain exercises so most of my workout went into maintaining proper posture and core position. The Reformer itself was an interesting and deceptively simple machine. A set of springs and be loaded or unloaded onto an adjustable board which essentially controls not only the resistance for certain exercises, but also help to stabilize a sliding portion of the machine to help the user maintain proper positioning.

After the 45 minute class I quickly showered and headed into the city for Trivia Night with Kara and co. Man, what a beating. It was harder than the Pilates class! Questions included extremely obscure ones such as "What is the most visited paid monument in the world?", and "In what century was the first aerated, carbonated drink produced". Stumped? So were we. Incidentally we got both of those answers correct simply by guessing. The Eiffel Tower, and the 19th century (I think). Needless to say, at first the team wasn't having much fun. We did manage to pull out some last minute stops to climb the charts and rest comfortably in fourth place. Believe me, we thought we would be dead last for the longest time. By the end of it, the comments had changed from "I'll never do this here again", to "Let's take on the top team next time". Since the trivia nights are held fortnightly at this particular venue, we're pretty confident that a spot of reading will help us climb the ladder further.

Either way, it looks like the Tiki Team (do NOT ask me about that) will be returning.

The local hobby store, a place of card games, board games, and...ironing!?

As i'm writing this i'm basking in the simple glory of a well lit cybercafe room. Its an amazing feeling, let me tell you. After spending 3 nights without power, i'm happy to report that as of 2 hours ago, the electricity was finally reconnected back at the apartment. Once my phone and internet services are up the place is finally fit to be inhabited by a modern man such as myself.

I've survived these past few nights by staying out and prowling the city until its time for me to drag my butt home for some sleep. I could probably do that indefinitely but my phone and laptop need to get juiced up to work so during the day I solve that problem by heading 3 doors down to Good Games. Good Games is a nice hobby gaming store run by a bunch of likeable characters of which i've made friends with since about day 1 its been opened. I even do some work for them from time to time and i'm more that happy to help out if they need anything. This time around, they've been giving me a hand by way of after hours access so I can iron my clothes, charge up my stuff and generally hang out to kill time. All I can say is that i'm grateful for their help.

I can live without power, I can even live without my phone. But living in Sydney with crumpled clothing is unforgivable.

The "M" word makes the world go round...

So. It would seem that i've survived my (not really) harrowing flight through a typhoon (yes really) to arrive safe and sound in Sydney. The Nile be praised! I breezed through customs, caught a cab and arrived home to see the place almost exactly as I left it. That is, it looked like a terrorist training cell had used the place to test out their next-gen luggage bombs. I wasn't surprised, but I was a little disappointed at the state of the place. I'm lucky i'm back a full 2 weeks early to sort this place out. The devastation extends as far as the eye can see, and then into nooks and crannies. Hooray!

As my Jedi-like powers have foreseen there is also still no power at my lovely new domicile. Luckily, the main feature windows of the place are facing George Street, Sydney's main strip. The back room always has a campy glow thanks to either late night Indonesian pot smoking binges or all day neon underwear hanging festivals my neighbors seem to put on a daily basis. I need to get me some blinds. Or go blind. Now when we go upstairs however is when things might get a little hairy. There are no windows in the toilet so I better hope I find my trusty LED wind up flashlight before dark. If I don't write over the next few days, its probably because I cracked my skull open and bled to death because I slipped while showering in the pseudodark. Yay! I made up a new word! The upstairs bedroom has a small window which is illuminated nicely by the ambient street glow. Combine that with floor to ceiling wardrobe mirrors means that I can stumble around in there without too much of a hitch.

But I digress. The REAL reason i'm writing today isn't about to talk about typhoons or new word-makings-ups. I'm here to tell you a story about a boy, a girl, some overweight luggage, and a bribe.

Once upon a time, in an 8 hour flight place away, there lived a boy. This boy had luggage. Heavy luggage. Kiiiiiids, can you spell heavy?

H-E-A-V-Y

Good! You get a gold nugget...picture.

Now this boy had to fly far away to a place where dingos eat babies to finish studying in ordertomakemoneyandhaveagoodlifewithanicewifeandsomekidsthatdingosdon'teat. On the day of his departure, this boy was sent to the airport courtesy of a very lovely girl he's wanted to go out with in years. When the pair reach the airport, they make their way to the check-in line making light conversation. Once they get to the counter, the man behind it checks the luggage and declares in a whiny voice "This luggage is too heavy. We shan't (Ed: I used shan't to maintain the olde english fairy tale illusion. Are you bamboozled yet?) let it on because the plane can't fly unless you pay for the overweight luggage.". "Oh no!", thought the boy. "How much would it cost?", he asked. The man made some quick calculations and arrived at a number. A 4 digit number. The boy looked at the girl and said "No problem!" (and instantly regretted it). Now, bless the girl because she started to bargain with the man. After a few minutes, he leaned forward and asked in a hushed tone "Well, there is another way....but I can't give you a reciept".

Several minutes later, i'm handing some cash over to some stooge in the toilet. Now. I did a bad thing. By bribing the corrupt snotball and his crony, I encouraged unethical behaviour. Shame on me, but i'll get over that. What's really sad is that both the man and his friend were Malays. Not just Malaysians, but FREAKING MALAYS. Is this what we've come to? Me coughing blood and them eagerly feasting on human effluence? I feel dirty. Like a cockroach in a sodirtyithasaradioactiveglow sock. Or maybe I just need a shower after a long flight ;p.

After that debacle I sat down and had some ice cream with the girl and had one of those awkward Hollywood 'i'm leaving on a jet plane so imma put my cards on the table, and if you're interested great but if you're not i'm going to be a wreck for approximately 3.7 days and there will be a cheesy montage' moments. Man. Compound sentences for the win! Anyway. The time came for when I had to go so we hugged and I went off into the sunset. Or passport control. My luggage arrived safe and sound in Sydney and although I bribed someone, I ended up saving a fair bit of money. Before I stode out of the airport I made a quick check of my belongings. It turns out that I did leave something behind.

I leave it to you to figure out what it was, and still is.

Destination: Egypt and the UAE

What a trip!
I'm too tired and braindead to wax philosophical at the moment so i'll just get straight to it.

Egypt has been an interesting learning experience for me. I can't exactly call the trip particularly exciting but it wasn't a relaxing one either. The first destination of the family holiday was the town/city of Luxor. The vast majority of the temples and tombs we visited were located in the area as Luxor was the site of Thebes, one of the biggest cities of ancient Egypt. The sites we visited included the Temple of Horus, the Colossi of Memnon and King Tut's tomb. From Luxor we took a leisurely cruise down the Nile heading south towards Aswan, making daily stops to visit places of interest.

At Aswan we took a plane to Cairo, where my luggage promptly went missing and arrived on the next flight. This was quite odd seeing as to how the flight had a grand total of about 12 passengers. How my bag never made it onto the plane I will never know.

Cairo is a madhouse. The streets are dirty, the people are crass, tourists are everywhere and I can't take a piss without some local (who apparently makes a living by plundering the toilet paper and 'selling' them for a tip) asking me for money. It was also the place where you went if you wanted to visit one of the most recognizable landmarks known to man - The Pyramids of Giza and The Sphinx. As I stood before them I could not help but imagine the glory and hubris of a civilization that built these towering monuments that still stand today in defiance to the ravages of time. 3 thousand years is a long time yet here they remain as a reminder of what we can achieve when we were united under a single cause.

After a few days we left the (dis)organized chaos of Egypt and travelled to Dubai. Dubai strikes me as almost a polar opposite of Egypt. The streets are clean, the city organized and there's so much ultra-modern construction going on you can almost smell the money being spent in the air. As you might have already guessed, taking a piss was a lot less of a hassle. Joy of joys! Needless to say, the sights were a tad bit different and so were the prices of the stuff we bought.

All in all it was quite an adventure. Here's a list of all the other super great stuff we did that I can't be bothered elaborating. The trip included, but is not limited to:

- A desert safari
- Shisha smoking
- Mummies
- Massive Headaches
- A hot air balloon that was kept aloft by more than hot air (Go figure)
- Some lesbian action on said hot air balloon
- Mummified tour guides
- A fake beard
- Baby puke
- Baby tears
- Baby smiles

The photos will be up on Facebook soon. Feel free to browse.

Synthesis

So, here we are again. Out of the ashes of my old and rather sordid blog rises my newer, shinier, IMPROVED FORMULA sordid blog. My progression has truly been staggering.

In consideration of the fact that we are back to the proverbial Square One, I thought it would be apt to have my first post be concerning the URL of my blog. For reference sake, here it is again:

nefariousnightclub.blogspot.com

Unfortunately, if you were expecting a long and clever story about how that came to be, you'll in for a tiny bit of disappointment. The tale goes like this....

While I was signing for the blog service, the name I wanted was simply unavailable. So my originally intended URL name has instead become the title of my blog and after a quick search, I discovered that the owner of viciouscabaret.blogspot.com does not (to my knowledge) speak a lick of english. From what I can gather, his blog seems to revolve around the photographing of vehicles. Where's the human drama? Where's the crushed spirits and broken dreams? Where's the FUNNY? It is, alas, absent. At least in english.

So, (as V would put it) in lieu of my preferred URL soubriquet I decided then to search for each word on Google in order to find some alternatives.

The Merriam Webster Online Dictionary at www.merriam-webster.com supplied me with a few choice options. For Vicious, synonyms included such a lovely lineup including Villainous, Corrupt, Degenerate, Nefarious and Iniquitous.

Villainous - Nah, not me.
Corrupt - More me, but still lacking impact.
Degenerate - Very me, but not something i'd prefer to blatantly advertise.
Nefarious - Now here's an interesting one.
Iniquitous - Doesn't quite have a nice ring to it.

Before I could truly decide, I had to perform a similar check for Cabaret and see what comes up. As it turns out, there was only one choice. Nightclub. While all the previous words combine pretty well with this one, Nefarious Nightclub seems to have a pretty good sound to it.

And there we have it. No deep thinking, no analysis paralysis. Just the letter 'N'.