Thursday, October 27, 2011

We now return to our (never) regularly scheduled programming.

Dear Blog,

How I've missed you. I see that in my absence a number of strange rodent-like commenters have taken to nesting in your nooks and crannies. They promise readers free iPads, viagra, guaranteed weightloss and a myriad of other mind numbing devilry. I apologise. I shouldn't have left you alone for so long. I promise that I will hunt them down and make them suffer. Or at least clean up and make sure no traces of their evil is left behind.

So why am I back you ask? Well truth be told, I was never far away. I've often gazed lovingly at you through a rose-tinted high powered telescope from near earth orbit. From time to time I've even walked through your rich, mahogany scented hallways marveling in your elegant simplicity. I return for a number of reasons but chief among them is something very ordinary. I've missed writing, and I've missed you. Do forgive me for being away. For being ever faithful in the face of abandonment, I intend to spruce you up with new skills I have learned in the wild (and in space).

Your interface will be updated, your archives carefully set aside, and my posts will even be categorised and tagged. All this, and more await you my technological wonder of a diary. By the time I'm done with you, you'll be the talk of the town. The jewel on the crown of Poseidon. The feather on the fish.

I can't promise you that there won't be times when I might appear to be distant. The days and weeks may stretch on but know that you are very dear to me old friend. You have provided me with the means to empty the contents of my head. And for that, I will always be grateful.

I'm back.
The Nefarious Nightclub is open for business.

And boy do I have stories to tell you.

Semper fi,
Me.

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