Endings and Beginnings.

So here we go again. Another year gone by, another year I frantically try to commit to memory at the very last instant. Why do I even bother trying? I guess because this time I actually have something important to remember. Now, I'm not going to belittle my absence from blogging as something that wasn't worth writing about. On the contrary, 2009 has been a year as worthy as any when it comes to jotting stuff down but I guess right now it would be a bit too late to sum things up.

Instead, I turn my focus to my recent past.

I have been....clutching at straws I suppose. 2010 has been an enormously humbling year and I would be hard pressed to come up with an event where I haven't come out feeling that little bit smaller. Fortunately, my ego is boundless but if there ever was a time when I felt diminished, it would be now.

How does one cope when, in the act of searching for lasting happiness, you find it and realize that it can outgrow you? It seems that every effort and decision I've made hasn't been the right one. It hasn't been wrong either I suppose, but certainly not right. Now I'm not taking potshots at anyone, my failings are irrevocably my own but I do wonder. When does trying to fix things end forcing the issue begins? It seems that I've got a long way to go.

My working life and career have been progressing as well as I could hope. As my responsibilities steadily increase the mysteries of the business universe slowly unravels. Let me tell you, it is a strange and daunting place, filled with arbitrary decision making, the slow death of common sense and filled with people that would make any intelligent person wonder why or how they were ever let loose. Speaking as a self-professed elitist I have to state for the interest of full disclosure that I'm not exactly the most unbiased observer. I'm sure a lot of them are lovely folk. Just. Don't. Come any closer.

Outside of the office things have not been as smooth as I had hoped. Naomi remains, as ever, a steady and illuminating presence in my life but she has her own things to do, and I really should stop being a roadblock. Sooner or later I'll have to bow out entirely and let life take us to different places.

Speaking of which, I continue to struggle against the Department of Immigration for a migration visa. It remains an unending maze of uncertainty, but I suppose that keeps things interesting. The real question is, what will I do when I get it (which I will)?. What is seemingly an inconsequential grant by the government opens up a veritable cornucopia or opportunities which, until now, I have been unable to take advantage off. Perhaps I should start (gasp) to consider the future, and not figure my way around by feel. Hmm...

Tomorrow I head to sunny Perth, and will more than likely have my eyeballs blasted by the sun, even while looking down at the ground. Should be interesting! I really could use the holiday, having not been anywhere of consequence since April.

I suppose I can console myself with the fact that it involved jumping off a bridge.